~ Day 21 ~ BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID ~ Chapter 19 ~
I know I have said something similar to this in previous posts, but I will say it again, and again. I am amazed and encouraged that someone with the years of experience Cecil Murphey has as a writer, speaker, teacher and preacher is so willing to show vulnerability, honesty and transparency throughout this entire book. Why? Because it also allows us as readers, writers, singers and everything in between to be encouraged to do the same!
Honestly, I have never met someone in person that is so willing to do this, especially a male. In a world where barring one's soul and showing our weakness can be very risky. All I can say is wow, what courage... What freedom. I want some of that!
Cecil shares in this chapter on how writing this very book brought about fear. He writes, "As I pondered, I realized that such a book would force me to lay myself on the line. Readers would identify my true self, who I truly am, and I wasn't sure I wanted them to recognize me. If I completed the book, I would lay myself out there for public scrutiny and readers could gaze with undisguised disgust."
He goes on to say, "But worst--the absolute worst fear--was (and still is): what do I have to say that will help other writers? In my struggles, I also faced another reality, and that's part of the fear. Some people might not like what I write; others might not like my style; but worse, they might not like me."
There is an acronym for fear I would like to share with you. It goes like this: FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
I have to admit fear has reeked havoc in my own life more than once, causing me to stew in my own worrisome juices. I've also heard it said that 90% of the things that we worry about don't ever come to pass!
Cecil says that fear keeps us running (or paralyzes us) and reminds us that we have to take risks to succeed. Even his own agent said,
"Too many writers won't acknowledge their fear, and when they eventually come to the place where they realize they're afraid, they freeze."
Cecil goes on to say that once he acknowledged his fear and faced the "signs" God had placed in his path, he knew he had to respond."
I'm thankful he listened, surrendered and barred his soul by writing this book.
The Aphorism for this chapter is: "I feel afraid when I bare my soul. I run the risk that others will despise me, ridicule me, or ignore me. But that's who I am. That's all I have to offer."
Aphorism #19: "I feel afraid when I bare my soul.
I run the risk that others will despise me,
ridicule me, or ignore me.
But that's who I am.
That's all I have to offer."